Chapter 3

$30 Coffee and the Chauffeur Ran Away with the Maid

As the nights get colder, the heater runs longer,

Alnoncetta squeals louder about bills.

Said Chaltreste to the other,
"I think I will get out some sweaters."

   One fine cold morning, Alnoncetta and Chaltreste woke the blaring noise of the dreaded alarm going off. Chaltreste moaned, pulled a pillow over her head and tried to ignore the wailings of Alnoncetta. "You put your alarm in my room?!!! TURN IT OFF!" Chaltreste just sniggered in response. She thought it was definitely her best plan yet to drag Alnoncetta out of bed. As they were getting ready for work, snarls could be heard for miles around.

    Finally, they were ready, and as they were leaving the castle Alnoncetta noticed an unpleasant smell drifting from the kitchen. "Chaltreste mah deaarr sistaaa." she said remembering to use the accent that all crazy dentist workers have. "Do yewww smell that? I do declaaree, the maid is shirking on her duties again!" Chaltreste just shrugged and pushed her sister out the door.

     "Do hurry!" she said, "Poor Fredericke the chauffer is standing in the cold, and you might be late for work!" As the piled into the car, Chaltreste did notice that Fredericke looked overjoyed this morning. Which she thought was slightly odd. For it was so very cold out side that the car door had frozen shut and the frost had made such delightful little patterns all over the window.

     It was exceptionally curious when Fredericke still had that ridiculous expression pasted all over his face as Alnoncetta and Chaltreste sang some popular ballads at the top of their lungs. Usually at this point in time, he was cringing. Alnoncetta was dropped off at her place of work. Aptly name Unbearble Denistry. Chaltreste wondered how people weren’t a little more worried at the pictures on the name tags of teddy bears holding axes instead of toothbrushes. Weirdos.

     After her sister was dropped off, Chaltreste had Fredericke drive her to the quaintest little coffee shop that you ever did see. She planned to spend her entire day off being completely lazy. Fredericke parked the car and Chaltreste went into the coffee shop. As she opened the door and headed to the cozy corner she preferred, she pondered over a few thoughts. "Precisely what do chauffeurs do as they wait in the car?" she muttered aloud. She got her answer a few hours later when she went back to her car.

     Chaltreste stood by her door, waiting for Fredericke to open it. Shivering in the cold air, she yanked the door open herself and sat down in the equally freezing car. "Fredericke! Why is the car not warm?!" she demanded. Her words hung in the air as she realized there was no Fredericke. "Well apparently," she snarled as she got into the drivers seat, "chauffeurs don’t wait at all!" Severely annoyed that she had to drive like some stupid poor commoner, she sped off to pick up Alnoncetta.

     "Why Chaltreste mah deaarrr sistaa!" Exclaimed a horrified Alnoncetta, "Whyyy on eaarth are yewww driving?!" She got a glare in response, for Chaltreste had just noticed the little white paper that was under the windshield wipers. Alnoncetta quickly shut her mouth as Chaltreste peeled away from curb, muttering angrily under her breath.

     "Stupid chauffer disappeared. 25$ ticket. That makes my trip to get coffee $30 stinking dollars! Dumb, dumb Fredericke!" Finally they arrived at home. Chaltreste parked the car and ran into their castle through the kitchen entrance. As she opened the door, her nose was assaulted with a terrible rotten smell. It looked as if dishes hadn’t been done in weeks. "Where is the stupid maid, and the stupid chauffer?!" yelled Chaltreste.

     "I think they eloped..."

     "Why would they do a stupid thing like that?! Love is for pansies!"

     "Well, here is a note proving it..."
     "Bah. Ungrateful wretches." Chaltreste said with a smile forming, "Nose goes! You have to do the dishes!After all, we aren’t going to find free maids ever again. Tragic isn’t it. Have fun cleaning!" Needless to say, dishes weren’t completed till the smell filled the entire house. The two sisters spent three entire weeks cleaning everything the silly love struck maid missed.

 

Moral of the story~

     Chauffeurs and maids are ungrateful and will inevitably elope at first opportunity. Thereby leaving

          you with messes to clean and thirty dollar coffee.

The Chauffeur and maid have eloped

 The rest of us have lost hope.

Them we no longer trust,
So do the dishes we must.