Chapter the Fourth.

The Spicy Brownies.

     Gravel flew in every direction and Chaltreste rammed on the gas pedal like someone in a high speed chase. Dear readers, you would be shocked at the apparel the two sisters had on. For you would learn a very well kept secret. Alnoncetta and Chaltreste are ninjas. And they had just played their first prank of the year. It all started two hours previous to the mad car race. 

     Anything cool that ever happens, happens in the darkest hours of the night. The "darkest" hours being roughly 8pm. For cool things always leap their way into the brain of Chaltreste. And poor Chaltreste, who has no censor whatsoever on what spills out of her mouth, let loose a formidably brilliant plan. "Alnoncetta! What do you say we make some brownies and go BOO people?! For it is the time of the Halloween time!"

     Alnoncetta let loose and indignant squak. "Yourrr ideaaah? Dahhlink, I wasss the ooone who proposed so perfect an ideaaah!"

     "So i lied! My bad!" Chaltreste typed. For she likes to look way cooler in these stories than in real life. "Go make the brownies then if your soo cool! Oh, we should decorate them too!" Alnoncetta made a little snarling noise. Apparently the two sisters had already bought frosting cause Alnoncetta had thought up the whole scheme weeks before. "Geeeeezzz, i know i had something cool to add to this terribly wicked idea!" whined Chaltreste. Then she started jumping up and down in the kitchen. "buahahahahaha! I know! I know! Cayenne Pepper! Put pepper in the brownies!" (That is actually what made the idea wicked. (For it is quite nice to leave delicious treats at someones door otherwise.)

     So, the brownies were loaded with half a bag of pepper and put into the oven. And while spicy chocolate may be good to some, this was not. *side note. Chaltreste is cackling evily still, as she types. As soon as the brownies were yanked from the oven, they were quickly shunted to the freezer. When the "special" brownies were sufficiently cooled, the sisters delightedly pulled out the frosting a proceeded to decorate.

     "Chaltreste!" Whined Alnoncetta, "Your cookies look soo cool!" Chaltreste pulled herself out of her happy little decorating world to look at Alnoncettas brownies. She proceeded to feel like she had a very morbid mind-set. For her cookies had creepy monsters with red frosting all over their teeth and one with huge blood-shot eyeball. Altogether very grusome. So Chaltreste made her last halloween brownie with a beautiful flower on it. For Alnoncettas had cute polkadots and other cheerful things all over them. Pleased with their work, they went to change into their special uniforms.

     A quite buzzing noise could be heard from Chaltreste's room. You may wonder what that noise might be. Well, i will give a detailed explanation. If you were standing in the door way to her room you would see Chaltreste stepping into her tiny closet. She then would proceed to push a large hidden button and quickly she would be wisked from sight. Chaltreste had spent every last dime she had ever earned on building a hidden room underneath the castle. Very Batman esque. Then she would walk to the middle of the very open basement to stand on a round oval in the corner. Machines pop out of no where, and in five split seconds, she is dressed as the coolest ninja ever. There is also a button to put her in the coolest pirate costume ever. But that is a very controversial topic, so we wont go there in this chapter.

     Dressed and ready for action the sisters jumped into the batmobile with two plates of browines and decievingly cute signs to go with them. Oh how their enemies would be fooled! As Chaltreste drove, Alnoncetta did the perfect evil laugh for being an evil minion. But even though she is a minion, she doesnt look like a twinkie *in reference to the twinkie minions from Despicable Me. Then they pulled up to the first house to be pranked.

Dundundun!

*The author and co. have plans this evening, so this story is "TO BE CONTINUED"

Chapter 3

$30 Coffee and the Chauffeur Ran Away with the Maid

As the nights get colder, the heater runs longer,

Alnoncetta squeals louder about bills.

Said Chaltreste to the other,
"I think I will get out some sweaters."

   One fine cold morning, Alnoncetta and Chaltreste woke the blaring noise of the dreaded alarm going off. Chaltreste moaned, pulled a pillow over her head and tried to ignore the wailings of Alnoncetta. "You put your alarm in my room?!!! TURN IT OFF!" Chaltreste just sniggered in response. She thought it was definitely her best plan yet to drag Alnoncetta out of bed. As they were getting ready for work, snarls could be heard for miles around.

    Finally, they were ready, and as they were leaving the castle Alnoncetta noticed an unpleasant smell drifting from the kitchen. "Chaltreste mah deaarr sistaaa." she said remembering to use the accent that all crazy dentist workers have. "Do yewww smell that? I do declaaree, the maid is shirking on her duties again!" Chaltreste just shrugged and pushed her sister out the door.

     "Do hurry!" she said, "Poor Fredericke the chauffer is standing in the cold, and you might be late for work!" As the piled into the car, Chaltreste did notice that Fredericke looked overjoyed this morning. Which she thought was slightly odd. For it was so very cold out side that the car door had frozen shut and the frost had made such delightful little patterns all over the window.

     It was exceptionally curious when Fredericke still had that ridiculous expression pasted all over his face as Alnoncetta and Chaltreste sang some popular ballads at the top of their lungs. Usually at this point in time, he was cringing. Alnoncetta was dropped off at her place of work. Aptly name Unbearble Denistry. Chaltreste wondered how people weren’t a little more worried at the pictures on the name tags of teddy bears holding axes instead of toothbrushes. Weirdos.

     After her sister was dropped off, Chaltreste had Fredericke drive her to the quaintest little coffee shop that you ever did see. She planned to spend her entire day off being completely lazy. Fredericke parked the car and Chaltreste went into the coffee shop. As she opened the door and headed to the cozy corner she preferred, she pondered over a few thoughts. "Precisely what do chauffeurs do as they wait in the car?" she muttered aloud. She got her answer a few hours later when she went back to her car.

     Chaltreste stood by her door, waiting for Fredericke to open it. Shivering in the cold air, she yanked the door open herself and sat down in the equally freezing car. "Fredericke! Why is the car not warm?!" she demanded. Her words hung in the air as she realized there was no Fredericke. "Well apparently," she snarled as she got into the drivers seat, "chauffeurs don’t wait at all!" Severely annoyed that she had to drive like some stupid poor commoner, she sped off to pick up Alnoncetta.

     "Why Chaltreste mah deaarrr sistaa!" Exclaimed a horrified Alnoncetta, "Whyyy on eaarth are yewww driving?!" She got a glare in response, for Chaltreste had just noticed the little white paper that was under the windshield wipers. Alnoncetta quickly shut her mouth as Chaltreste peeled away from curb, muttering angrily under her breath.

     "Stupid chauffer disappeared. 25$ ticket. That makes my trip to get coffee $30 stinking dollars! Dumb, dumb Fredericke!" Finally they arrived at home. Chaltreste parked the car and ran into their castle through the kitchen entrance. As she opened the door, her nose was assaulted with a terrible rotten smell. It looked as if dishes hadn’t been done in weeks. "Where is the stupid maid, and the stupid chauffer?!" yelled Chaltreste.

     "I think they eloped..."

     "Why would they do a stupid thing like that?! Love is for pansies!"

     "Well, here is a note proving it..."
     "Bah. Ungrateful wretches." Chaltreste said with a smile forming, "Nose goes! You have to do the dishes!After all, we aren’t going to find free maids ever again. Tragic isn’t it. Have fun cleaning!" Needless to say, dishes weren’t completed till the smell filled the entire house. The two sisters spent three entire weeks cleaning everything the silly love struck maid missed.

 

Moral of the story~

     Chauffeurs and maids are ungrateful and will inevitably elope at first opportunity. Thereby leaving

          you with messes to clean and thirty dollar coffee.

The Chauffeur and maid have eloped

 The rest of us have lost hope.

Them we no longer trust,
So do the dishes we must.



Oh the things that are thought. Chapter 2

     Back to the Basics

     It all began with a skirt.

     Once upon a time, there were two sisters who lived far far away. Far away from each other that is. Millions of miles apart in fact. One sister, Chaltreste, lived in the the very empty country of Montana. Nothing but sky and fields as far as the eye could see. It was extremely beautiful. The other sister, Alnoncetta, lived in Moscow. You may ask if it was the city in Idaho or the city in Russia. The answer is Russia. Idaho is too lame for anyone to live in.

     Chalreste worked a very prestigious location. Staples. To cool for words. But the uniforms were something terrible to behold. Bright red polo shirts are not the most becoming item of clothing a person could wear. So she learned to suffer through the scorn with her mouth shut. As the days swept by, she felt as if her brains were slowly seeping out her ears. Its amazing how tired one can get of saying the phrase, "Have a nice day." Just when she started to believe that nothing could ever be entertaining again, she recieved a phone call from Alnoncetta. She was coming to visit! Chaltreste nearly squealed she was so very delighted. She even managed to wrestle a few days off from the all powerful coporation. The days to her sisters trip simply couldnt arrive soon enough!

     Finally, the crunch of gravel in the driveway could be heard as her sisters chariot pulled in. Tired and exausted, Alnoncetta swept gracefully through the doorway and requested in a loud voice, "Please, mah dearr sista, I need a place to rest mah weary head." Chaltreste showed her a broom closet that she could sleep in and promised that all of her belongings would be taken care of. Very pleased with her sleeping quarters, Alnoncetta fell asleep. (You see, the broom closet was much bigger than her room at home.) Now, to Chaltreste, taking care of Alnoncetta's belongings ment that she was going to try on all of her sisters clothes. For she needed some new outfits something dreadful.

     Chaltreste, upon confirming that her sister was asleep, immediately started digging through the closet Alnoncetta packed. For the first time ever, there was nothing that she wanted to try on. In her desperation for something pretty, Chaltreste slowly dug through the suit case one more time. Just as she was nearing the bottom of the huge pile, she spotted it. Beautiful waves of black fabric. Slowly, inch by tiny inch, she reached a hand tward it and gently pulled out. It was the most perfect black skirt she had ever seen! Her joy was simply unending when she discoverd how well it went with the heinous red sweater that she wore to work. Chaltreste nearly fainted when she discovered that she could actually say she looked cute in work clothes!

     Right on cue, Alnoncetta walked in to the room, took one look at Chaltreste and said "Take it off right now." In a sweet voice that had underlying threats all over it. Poor Chaltreste begged and pleaded with her sister. For she could handle working again if only she had a decent outfit to wear. Sadly all of her requests were brutaly denied. Yet, somehow, life went on. The two sisters had the most fantastic time together. All too soon, Alnoncettas chariot pulled up to take her away. Home to her tiny kitchen and non-existent bedroom.

     Months down the road.....

          "Sister dearest!" Chaltreste cried over the phone, "Might'nt I have that beautiful skirt? Perhaps buy it from you?" To her surprise, Alnoncetted responded with a positive answer. They now mail the skirt back a forth and share the beautiful skirt. In fact, they loved sharing so much, that they figure they might as well be roommates so they could have more fun times together! (They now live in the Idaho Moscow. Coolest place ever since the two crazy sisters now reside there.)

Now the real story begins! aka Adventures of Moscow........

Oh the things we can think. Prolog

*Based on true events. Names have been changed for privacy.

  One dark and loathsome night. You could hear the joints on the legs of spiders freezing as they tried to crawl tward the warm sleeping body. A quiet snicker is carried forth, across the all consuming silence. Her breath froze in the air as Chaltreste crept up behind the form of her sister. Weapon, poised and ready, aimed at Alnoncetta's head. Hoping to silence the swine-like grunting issuing forth from the gaping jaw.
     The shimmering black shadow prepared to shoot. The release of the weapon was swift and sure...and followed with a loud yelp. "Owwwww! Dang it!" shouted Chaltreste. Making Alnoncetta awaken with a start. "I hit myself in the eye with the rubberband that was intended for you!" Cackles of glee could be heard late into the night from Alnoncetta. For it was such a sweet revenge.
     Chaltreste, however, managed to sleep soon there after. She had managed to silence the grunting from Alnoncetta that some would call snoring.

Moral of the story.
   Its easy to sleep once you wake up the snoring people.

P.S. The spider that was creeping across the freezing cold house, will never hurt anyone ever again.
                   It is frozen in a little tupperware full of water in the freezer. :)


*Another side note - The mother of the two girls is not around to check grammar/spelling. Please forgive any
                   incorrectness on the authors part.