Put a Spider in the Freezer so it Cant Come Back.

My dearest Alnoncetta,
     I lost your letter and must start anew! I could never have enough words to convey the stories I have for you. My horrid little buggy broke down the day of yester and I have upgraded to a rocket ship. Have you heard of such things? A strange little green fellow gave it to me. He was most impolite, I shudder as a write this, he kept fluffing with every word he let loose from his disturbingly large mouth. Being the proper young lady that I am, my poise stayed intact and I smiled oh so sweetly. The stars above could not have matched the twinkling mirth trying to bubble out of my eyes. I so wanted to laugh! Needless to say, I am ever so glad I did not allow the noise to spring forth, lest I had offended my benefactor. I do adore my spaceship. If it breaks down on my way to Oregantha, I will grab my suitcase and skip the rest of the way there. Moscovia has proved cold and very inhospitable  Were that Jimina was here, she would be reveling in the bite of the bitter winter air. I, alas, do not.
    But my darling sister do not worry of me! Oh let me tell you of the things to come! Sit down I say and read this letter with joy in your heart. I am to be reunited with our darling parents! Our two youngest siblings remain at home and they can not with hold their squeal of utter delight when they heard of my visitation. I plan on staying for a long period of time. Another castle I shall build! Ambrana has come so far in her princess schooling that I am delighted to report she will be joining me. I promised Jimina a much smaller closet to reside in and she too is pondering the idea of living next to the misty ocean! I will be in good company amongst kin and friends alike. I leave before the next moon. You can hardly guess my excitement!
     Now I have heard a most disturbing rumor of you. One of my spies whispered the most discomfiting thing in my ear as I sat on my throne today. I was about to dole out punishment to a disobedient serf when the words stopped me short. Did the spy speak the truth? Have you truly gone native?! I wont disclose who saw the horrifying scene of you screaming and charging down a poor hapless seal with a gigantic spear. Upon my word, I forgot who I was even punishing when I learned the news! No doubt you ran down the poor baby creature in a skirt. This is such ghastly behavior and yet I yearn to know more. Tell me of you exploits and then go sit on an ice flow and think of what you have done!
     I must go sit near the fire and warm the icicles that I so desire to call fingers some time soon!

May the icy waters slow you down.
You sister
Queen Chaltreste the Very First
     

They don't come in Pink

Dear Chaltreste

This is considered Alaskette's shoe.

Here in Alaskette it is the only shoe one needs. All i have to say is it doesn't come in pink.

The squirrels are fighting again.

Dearest Alnoncetta,
     As ever, it has been so long! It is cold and chilly as I ride in my carriage, to the collegiate and write you this note. I can hear the little tree rats chattering over buried acorns. They sound so angry in the early rays of dawn peaking over the dew covered hillside.
     Now, my dear sister, you might want to sit down for the news. The shock is almost overwhelming. Jimina has abandoned her post on my lovely estate! She left a small note (covered in tears of course) telling me of her departure. Here, I shall copy it over to you.

                       
The message goes on, Alononcetta but I am respecting her wishes. I will send a balloon for her in a years time. This place simply can not function without her. I will be sure to be more stingy in the future! Perhaps this is all for the best. I am pleased to announce the purchase of new property in Oregante. It is a temporary lodging but our sister Phoebus is in need of medical attention. You see, her heart has been twitterpated far too many times and she has grown weak. I intend to give her a severe dose of the shock treatment when I arrive in during the twelfth moon. It is good for one to be doused in chilly water early every morning. Poor little Phoebus. 
     Now my dear Alnoncetta, you may be wondering just what I am doing with my previous property. I shall tell you. This young girl, who spends her time scrubbing fabric in a sewing factory, has always desired to be a princess. I discovered Ambrana singing to all the little birdies out in the meadows one day. She was trying to twirl around in this dress that was not much more that potato sacks sewn together. She kept singing the strangest words, "I'm a little princess, hear my sound. This is my long dress and heres how I pout. When I get all steamed up then I shout. Make me a cake and I shall calm down." What a perfect little prodigy I say! So currently she is enrolled in the princess academy and working very hard to balance ten books on her head. I won't be impressed until she reaches fifteen!
     Kat has done such an excellent job in assisting Ambrana's schooling. I fear they will get along far too well in my absence. I found the two of them absolutely covered in chocolate when they came home for the weekend. It was a most appalling set back. Upon my life I would never have joined such a show! I scolded the headmistress most thoroughly and she is keeping a closer eye on them. They have progressed much since then. Everyone needs a little discipline in life!
    When I leave my estate in their care and travel to Oregante, I will be in pursuit of more knowledge. I intend to observe and calculate the way human beings behave. It almost sounds like philanthropy except that I actually go and see what is happening in the world and make changes, instead of eating a bucket of books for breakfast! You will be so proud! By the by, I do love hearing of your escapades to Alaskatan! Do give Jimina my best wishes and a bucket of cabbage. She did love cabbage so.

May the rain plop on your head,
Queen Chaltreste the Very First.

Practical

My Dear Sister Chaltreste,

I only have a few short minutes to write to you before the dreaded hour of midnight, and so this letter shall be a short one. Oh the tales our nurse maid used to tell us to make sure we were home safe in our beds before the clock struck 12. Even tho I am now to old to believe such things, I still shudder at the thought of my splendid coach turning into a pumpkin and my glorious one of a kind gowns turning into the clothing of commoners. Gives me the chills just thinking of it. 

As you know I am now in the land know as Alaskette. It's beauty (on a sunny day) far surpasses anything I have see as of yet on my travels. In the short time I have been here my vocabulary has already been expanded. Here in Alaskette there is a word i have often heard; practical. (It must be a native word, I surely never heard it spoken in Selatten). I have come to believe it is a word only used when people such as I visit, and it is reserved for clothing, shoes, and accessories. Often when the natives here are speaking to me, or referring to my wardrobe, they use another form of the word, unpractical. Dear sister i'm afraid that I have a lot to learn if I am to stay here, but I know it shall be an adventure like non I have ever had before!

Oh yes I also mean to tell you of the delightful welcome i received here. Upon the landing of my private jet I was greeted by a large number of dear people and I was given a gift. Chaltreste the gift was a food so delicious and wonderful, they call them pop tarts. Have you ever heard of these?

Sleep well my dear sister,

Love,

Alnoncetta 

Dearest  Chaltreste
Bonjour! My extensive travels to further my knowledge of the fine country we live in have brought me to the land of Chelanteste (i think perhaps they were trying to please you by naming it after you).
I am told that this is a land of beauty beyond all comprehension. It is said to have a lake, rivers, orchards of all kinds, vineyards, and a quaint little village.

This is a view of the town from the well know Chelanteste Butte (I shall not tell you how they pronounce the word butte, but just know they pronounce it in a way that would make you, dear sister, most delighted)

 I have not see the town looking this appealing since the day of my arrival; due to an unfortunate happening. Upon my arrival the locals decided to welcome me with a delightful festival that ended with a gourmet dinner at sunset, and a beautiful display of fireworks (the fireworks show was obviously run by a bumbling idiot). The festival,and fireworks were lovely. The sunset dinner was a delight. I had a feeling i would like this place, even though it was named to honor you.

Until the following day when we awoke to this...

The foolish fireworks display personal had made a mistake and now there are fires all around. I have never been more grateful for all the training we received as children on how to be polite in even the most dire, and worst of circumstances. I must say I have done well declaring that it just smells like a delightful campfire, and how I love to camp so I don't mind at all. The smoke truly has made for some beautiful sunsets. I did of course continue my public appearances for the first two weeks, as should be expected, and have enjoyed some lovely tours. It does help that my golden coach is so pleasant to ride in, and it equipped with a lovely fresh air system so i can just sit inside and wave at the people of the village as i go by. 

 They built this spectacular bridge just for my visit. It is part of a road only open to me so that i don't have to be bothered with traffic, quite generous of them i must say. I did thank them for the kindness.

Now the past few days we have cancelled all activities as they are declaring the need for all (myself included!!!) to wear masks. They expect me, Alnoncetta, to wear this!

I don't know what it's made of but it scratches my delicate skin, and that is unacceptable! So i have ordered a solid white gold, with 100% pure silk lining mask to be made for me, and am now awaiting it's arrival. Apparently it might take a while due to something about gold not really being material that is breathable, but i trust they will work out the problem in no time.

Meanwhile i am enjoying visiting with the lovely people who have so kindly opened their castle to us.

I am scheduled for daily spa treatments, due to the dryness of the air, and those have been very relaxing. Oh yes, also a new wardrobe must be ordered for the next part of my journey as everything smells of smoke. That is a tedious task, but it must be done. My stylists have arrived now and Seignour (the butler here) is about to let them in so I must promptly end this letter by saying, I do look forward to the second half of my time here. The people have been so welcoming and such a joy to spend time with. I think I shall have to return again another time to enjoy the beauty when i can go on a tour from my yacht, and perhaps then you can come with me.

Au rivoir for now.

Horizons are Being Expanded!

Alononcetta!
     It has been ages since I have written to you. I look down at my feet that are dirty from checking the mail in shame. Do forgive me! In order to become a better monarch of my (very large) kingdom, I expanded my horizons in Alaska and now the time has come to learn. In accordance to the ridiculous laws my predecessor set up, I am going to a University in my own land Moscovia. However I will be crumpling that rule up like a flimsy piece of 20lb paper when it comes time for me to get my Masters degree. If I am going to master something, it might as will be the entire globe. Traveling across country on my sleek dark stallion, Frogger, will be the best course for that.
    Four short years I will be abiding in my newest acquisition. Crystal clear windows that start at the ground and stretch toward the skies like a giraffe reaching for a delicate acacia leaves. The kitchen where Jimina cooks all day has a beautiful brick oven. Delightful smells are always wafting through the corridors from it. Then there is the Library! It is the size of a fencing yard! Books everywhere! The staircases in my abode that lead up to it are so shiny they sparkle like vampires! Jimina gets the biggest thrill sliding down the helix they create. Kat is much more reserved and retains composure until I leave the castle. Then she proceeds to drink Caffe and ride the rails like there is no tomorrow to come. Makes her very twitchy. Yes, my dear sister, I have two maids in my possession now. This place has broom closets blossoming out of the stone work left and right! Why not make good use of them?! 
     Method and Madness is what they are teaching me, your treasured sister, in the University of Moscovia. The madness is without the slightest of doubts arithmetic. What utter and complete uselessness! An abacus is this ridiculous piece of equipment that apparently means something to the frail old Abacist teaching us. This is the time I get my beauty sleep. Jimina singing, "How 'bout them cowboys! Boys ain't them somethin!" at the top of her very powerful lungs typically prevents that from happening at the normal hour. Sliding the staircases, eating raw fish and the constant yelling just proves that the girl is never going to fully adapt to civilization. Although mad, she is very entertaining to watch. One wonders what could possibly be going though her mind as she is whooping and chasing wild goats through the mountains of Kendavisk.
     My other Professors prefer to teach more stable subjects. Have you heard of this thing called Anthropology? A man named Indiana Jones invented it. Alas, lectures filled with droopy eyed students are much more boring than Mr. Jones' adventures. My teacher rambles on for hours about monkeys. He swears upon my beautiful Moscovia that we're decedents of monkeys! That is the animal our lovely younger brother carries on his shoulder! Completely absurd.  Our sister Phoebus was also gifted one for her birthday. She named it Ben. Kat, the new maid, she hates to clean up after them so I told Jimina to leave hers out in the forest.
    Oh see how I have rambled on?! It is most appalling. I must learn to organize my thought more. I hope all is well in Selatten! Cousin Ducky is coming to visit during the waning of the moon. I am thrilled to say in the least. Have you done any traveling lately?

Love always,
Queen Chaltrese the Very First
   
 

A note to Chaltreste

Dearest Chaltreste~ I miss you bunches and heeps and scads and more. You need to come see me in Selatten. That is all i have to say! Love your sweet ever so awesome sister, the crown princess, Alnoncetta